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debt

Dumbest Ways to “Eliminate” Your Debt

Debt is one of those American traditions that nearly everyone has experienced at least once, unless you were lucky enough to be born with the name ‘Rothschild’ or ‘Walton’. It can be difficult to manage your debt, especially if you never learned how to do so, which is probably most of you if you went through the American education system. If anything, it seems like the world promotes the worst ideas for combating debt, which can’t possibly be true because what sort of rich idiots would want the lower classes to have trouble paying off debt? It’s almost as if debt didn’t produce interest for the banks, churning value upward toward those who already control everything from the price of the dollar to what products the helpless plebes can afford. If you’re smart, you’ll avoid the dumbest ways people have been suckered into ‘eliminating’ their debt.

  1. Borrow Money From Family
    Your family is pretty well off, so what could it hurt to go asking Mommy and Daddy for a small loan of $150,000? You definitely need the money to pay for that fourth monster flatscreen you bought with your nearly maxed out Visa, and it probably wouldn’t hurt to pay off some of those debt collectors constantly hounding you through phone calls and pink ‘Final Notice’ letters for every cent you make. Just because your parents want you to pay 20 percent interest and start paying the loan back immediately doesn’t mean anything, those are just words.
  2. Sell a Kidney
    Who hasn’t considered selling some extraneous organ for a windfall of cash? If you’re a male you could consider selling a testicle since you only really need one, but that only pays about $35,000, and women can’t really profit from that method (hopefully). However, everyone has at least two kidneys, and they sell for anywhere between $70,000 and $80,000 a piece. Of course, it is slightly illegal to sell your kidney in the United States, which is why websites like this exist. So what if there’s a risk you might have to undergo dialysis for the rest of your life?
  3. Home Equity Loans
    If you managed to purchase a home despite your propensity toward debt, and you have at least minimal equity built up in that home, you may find yourself tempted to get a home equity loan in order to pay off debt. You receive a moderate sum of cash, and the only tiny risk is losing your home forever. This tends to happen when people pay off credit card debt with a home equity loan since those newly zero-balanced credit cards are just screaming to be maxed out yet again. Hey, if you got rid of credit card debt once with a loan, you can do it again, right? And if you can’t, at least you got rid of your home.
  4. Win the Lottery
    The lottery is a reliable, wholesome investment that many people choose to make every week, and in some cases, every single day. Even if you don’t hit the jackpot, you could still walk away with several hundred dollars, which would be tremendously helpful in paying back the thousands of dollars in debt you developed while spending money on lottery tickets to get out of debt. That cycle might seem like it won’t work, but you’re just not thinking about it hard enough.